Back in action.

Its been a while, I've been a very busy girl.
Since my last blog I have:

• Stayed with the family for a bit. Pizza Hut is more fun with a 3 year old!
• Had my first ever Valentines' day. Oh yes. Three boxes of chocolates. He knows me well :)
• Had a job interview in London (more on that later)
• Managed to get a fair bit of work done.
• been to see a Neurologist who could not work out why I've had such awful headaches for months, So has referred me for an MRI scan.
• Sat in bed for a week with a horrid flu-sneeze-migraine type thing which has been wonderful.

It's faaaar too late for me to do a full post, I actually like to sleep once in a while. More to come soon.

♥ Valentines Delight ♥

Oh yes, That wonderful time of year is upon us once again.

The day which requires everyone to walk around in a pink fuzzy haze declaring their undying love for each other over candle lit dinners.

VALENTINES DAY

Now, I've always been one of those cynical 'Oh its all so commercial... a money making scheme to make singletons feel rubbish.' kinda people. Then again, I've had 20 Valentines days alone. Maybe not Alone, but single, definitely. This year however, things are much different. I'm perfectly coupled up (and have been for a while now) and am actually really looking forward to my first ever valentines with a BF.

I'm secretly a big romantic at heart, and I love buying presents for people. I love to spoil the people I love, when money is no object. Obviously, as Its my first valentines, I shall be getting him a few gifts, and after much deliberation, I eventually settled on... (wait.. he may read this!). He seems to think that one of us will upstage the other, but I don't really think giving and receiving presents is about upstaging or overdoing, I just like to see the smile on the face of someone who appreciates the thought and effort that I've gone through to get them something that they don't expect.

While I would LOVE to go to Paris or watch a Musical in London (which I think he would probably not appreciate as much as I would) I realise that as students with jobs, we don't really have the means to jet set for a few days, so we are having a traditional 'date night' consisting of dinner and cinema visit. As long as its spent with the person you love, does it really matter where you celebrate? And why only celebrate it once a year?

I'm a big fan of grand gestures and telling someone you love them.. do it every day if you can!

Oooopsie.

OK... So I said that I would post more, and obviously I haven't been living up to my promises.

(I hang my head in shame)

But. In my defence I have been working my bum off (and recording and watching as much Sky+ as is humanly possible) and getting new clothes.

I realise this is probably not such a big deal for most girls, but I NEVER buy clothes for myself. The last time I bought myself any clothing was boxing day... a dress and some pants. Hardly a blowout! My usual guilty pleasure is a lovely mixture of DVDs. I regularly spend £££ on films in a month and I'm currently awaiting six packages from play.com so I've been pacing the front door like a guard dog.

The first of my purchases received its first public outing on Sunday night. It was AWESOME. When I saw it on the hanger, I though 'Taylor Momsen' (Basically, TRAMPY to anyone not familiar with goth barbie fashion) but tried it on for a bit of a giggle. As it happened, I fell in love and will be wearing it lots from now on. In reflection, I'm pretty pleased I splashed out the whole £13 from Primark. Oh yes, the number 1 student destination :D

Luckily, being as stingy and picky as I am, I've managed to build up quite a lovely holiday fund. In the last three months, living on under £40 a week (with a little more for absolutely necessary DVD purchases, obvs) I've managed to get a wonderful collection of £900 together, and getting paid in two weeks, I will be adding another £200+ to the account meaning I will finally be able to book my Eastern adventure!! I can't wait to graduate and blow off some steam! !

Anyone know of any DVDs I could get, or any eastern destinations to check out??

Dance Dance.

I ♥ dance films, musicals... anything that combines music/dancing/singing is OK by me.

Unless you've spent the last few weeks under a rock in some far flung corner of the world, you will have heard of Black Swan. Nominated for shedloads of awards, It features Natalie Portman, Winona Ryder & Mila Kunis as ballet dancers in a deeply disturbing adaptation of Swan Lake.

Ok, So the ballet itself isn't disturbing. The events surrounding it are. I'm will try to explain the horrific aspects without giving too much away.

As you may have noticed from previous entries, I don't like dental procedures or anything metallic going into my mouth, so a scene which involved Winona Ryders' character repeatedly stabbing herself in the mouth with a metal nail file had me gagging into my popcorn.

Another fear (HATE) of mine would be FEET. Disgusting things which are only good for bearing my body weight until they blister and ache. In most dance related films they tend to get a fair amount of attention, understandably; although in this film, they go one step too far. Blisters, bleeding toes and cuts on the feet are all part and parcel of a dance film, and especially a ballet film, but what is NOT expected, is the WEBBED toes! There is something quite gruesome about watching a woman pulling apart her webbed toes.

There are also scenes of blood. LOTS of blood. Peeling off skin to reveal blood, stab wounds, bloody feet, bloody fingers... you name it, there will be blood on it.

I was expecting a film about ballet and dark secrets. I actually got scarred for life and potentially a mind full of nightmares.

Laura's got talent.

Well, actually, not.

I love Got to Dance. The wonderful dance-related talent show on Sky1.

Oh yes. To fill the void between Xfactor and Britains Got Talent, Sky has supplied us with hours and hours (Five consecutive hours on a Saturday night, to be exact), of dance. Street dance, Ballet, body popping, jazz, salsa, ballroom...you name it, they bring it.

OH... and not to mention the Wonderful ADAM GARCIA.
My heart melts a bit every time I see him. ♥ ♥ ♥ So a few hours of him for an evening suits me very well.

Anyway... before I let my mind wander...

I LOVE good dancers. I could watch ballet or street dance for hours and hours on end. I can really appreciate the time, balance, self discipline, determination and gruelling workout schedules involved in putting a three minute routine together. Some acts don't even make it through to the second round, and when you can see the disappointment in the faces of 8 year -olds who have clearly put their heart and soul into the performance, you can't help but to shed a little tear.

What most people don't realise is that I was once a dancer. Oh yes... ME. The girl who dances like her hair is on fire, and with the grace of an elephant on stilts. I now find a 20 minute sprint a challenge, whereas 10 years ago I would dance for hours on a Saturday afternoon.

That was, of course, until I realised that actually... I was RUBBISH. Oh yes. So bad that even three years of dance classes couldn't fix it. As it happens, I have worse coordination than a blindfolded cowboy at a barn dance. I still find it difficult dancing without hitting people, knocking things around and tripping over.

I've gotten used to the fact that I will never be able to win Got To Dance, But entering will at least get me a hug from ♥ ADAM GARCIA ♥ .
I may not get the £250,000 prize, but I can at least get near my man :)

Got to dance 2012, here I come!!

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: Spam/Junk mail.

If you read this you will get bad luck.

If you do not pass this on you will die.

If you pass anything like this on to me...YOU will get a virtual punch in your inbox.

If these horrid, waste of time, space, and energy involving e-mails really did everything they say on the tin, I'd have died a gruesome death years ago, probably fom being hit by a car while having my eyeballs pecked out by pidgeons. Drastic, maybe. Likely, no.

I quite like the idea of not finding out who the love of my life is by midnight, and not getting discounted viagra. I've not discovered a cure for cancer (and I'm pretty sure none of my hotmail contacts have either). As for some woman coming into my bedroom and suffocating me in my sleep?? Nope, just me, myself and I. (most of the time!)

I've never wasted my time or text allowance by sending on these chain messages...I actually realise how much my friends would hate me if I sent them, and how much I'd hate myself for sending them such rubbish and wasting their time.

So. Folks, Friends, Fans and followers. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Don't waste my time and your own by including me in your 'Send to all list'. I will block your message from my inbox and block you from my life.

Let this be a lesson to everyone!

Dental Dilemmas...

I am a 21 year old who is scared of the dentist.

There, I said it.

Its hard to explain exactly why or how it happened. I haven't always broken out in cold sweats when I've been awaiting an appointment.

When I was much younger I used to love getting sweets from the dentist (which I've since realised was actually their way of ensuring another visit) and even stickers when they switched from less decay-inducing rewards. I've had a VERY sweet tooth, ever since I can remember, and would never turn down chocolate or any calorie rich foods, and eventually my nasty habit came back to bite me in the backside.

When I was 15 I needed a tooth taken out, and to cut a long story short... they needed to give me two sets of injections as the first set didn't work (I HATE needles) and the dentist then managed to take out the wrong tooth, as I was bawling my eyes out!

Since this 'event' I've had about 3 check ups all of which have involved tears, being by restrained dental assistants and panic attacks. Last month I was due three fillings, for which my GP prescribed Diazepam to calm my nerves. I took 4mg more than I was recommended and still managed a bout of hyperventillating, crying, and eventually I refused outright.

Because of this life controlling phobia I now can't eat anything too hot or too cold, drinks need to be taken through a straw, food needs to be soft enough to not need to chew or to be cut up to baby size portions, and cold winds are impossible to talk or eat in. I'm currently waiting for an unconcious appointment to have anything and everything done to me when I have no knowledge of my surroundings.

I'm currently having hypnotherapy to get over this, I will literally give anything a go, as I've even been having nightmares about the dentist. I've got no set date for the 'operation' but if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for ways to get over this, Please let me know!

Back in action...

I've had a great time at home and Reading festival, and it actually felt good not to have a laptop chained to my thighs for a few days.

The wedding was a fun catch up with family I'd not seen in months, even years, and the free bar certainly helped!



Reading festival was another success and will definately be repeated again next year... this is becoming something of a tradition.

I am indeed back to business after a few weeks off, it feels good to be back and getting stuck into work and dissertation. this is going to be a 48 hour working week, plus finding work experience, blogging, watching BNTM and of course season three of the Inbetweeners!

I'm sure I can find some time for you.

Apologies....

...For my awful lack of updates. I've been working most days, writing up my final year project & getting VERY excited to go home this weekend for a family wedding and Reading Festival.

I'm writing a lifestyle magazine with an eco edge, without lecturing. I don't want to bore you with the details, but its something I'm very passionate about and would love to launch to a wide market next summer after I graduate. I'm looking for publishers and printers who could help out, and anyone who knows of any environmentally friendly products that I could approach for advertising.

Enjoy your summer, I will!

Vanity Insanity

Plastic surgery is freely available on the NHS, according to recent reports and a Channel 4 documentary.

Last nights episode of The Hospital showed the journey of several women as they tried to get various forms of Breast surgery done through funding from their local Primary Care Trust (PCT) One particular girl who was 17 was a stereotypical blonde bimbo, expecting the NHS to fund her boob job so that she could pose in lads mags.

Now, I support freedom of choice, so if women choose to go under the knife in search of their perceived 'perfection' then by all means let them. But I resent paying taxes to fund a woman's insecurities, when the money could be spent on rebuilding the breasts of a cancer patient after a mastectomy.

When the operation is complete, the scars will last a life time. Weight gain, from pregnancy or growth can stretch the implants, Breastfeeding is impossible and once a tummy tuck procedure is performed any weight gain from pregnancy can undo thousands of pounds worth of surgery.

Why do women go through painful procedures at the cost of the NHS, Taxpayers, and sacrificing the health of people in much worse conditions, when it is so easy to get cosmetic surgery privately? Nowadays it's as easy to get a boob job on credit as it is to get double glazing.

If people really wanted a boob job as badly as they say, they'd find a way

to afford it themselves, without sacrificing the health & funds of others.

A lesson lived and learned.

Today I learned a few things.

Firstly, if you ask nicely and vow to pay them back, parents will bail you out of hardship once in a while, and I am incredibly grateful to my mum for choosing to fund my livelihood over a new dishwasher (for a fortnight).

Secondly, on a tour of the city I found out about its links with the Titanic & how many local people were affected by the huge loss of live 98 years ago and are still influenced by it, even now. With reminders of the tragedy all around the city, we thought it would be a good idea to visit the monuments which dot are dotted around and joined a tour with a group of tourists.

I've been living in the city for more or less 3 years now, and I'm never surprised by the types of tourists my newly adopted home town attracts. Today was no exception. In our group there were the typical stereotypes: the Japanese couple who were taking pictures of everything, the American who asked a lot of questions, the kids who quite clearly had no interest in the topic and would rather not be there, and of course the woman who thought she knew more than the tour guide, to the extent of talking to a complete stranger about something she clearly didn't care about.

One of the highlights of my tour was watching the annoying teachers pet scurry to the front to get up close to the tour guide & fall over a stick no bigger than a frankfurter sausage. By fall, I mean Fall. Straight to the ground, leaping a foot forward. The fastest I'd seen her move during the whole tour.

Call me cruel, but she was the most annoying person I'd met all week, and it was difficult to hold in the laughter. Luckily she continued to dry-hump the leg of the tour guide at the front of the group which gave us the perfect opportunity to let out our bottled up laughter. It felt good.

Sometimes the most tragic circumstances can bring out the best (and worst)

in people.

Vanessa Carlton speaks the truth.

You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone

...as she wisely once said. I didn't think she quite had non-drug induced hallucinations in mind, but that would have resulted in a completely different song.

Anyway...the subject of money.
To my annoyance, in my effort to start paying off my overdraft I put a large chunk of my wages into one of the accounts and lowered the limit so I wouldn't be tempted to spend as much, thinking it would be easy enough to expand it if I needed to.

Oh how I was wrong!

As it turned out my next wages were not enough to cover rent and a (rather hefty & unexpected) phone bill. In the hope of getting back some of the money I had paid into the overdraft as I had paid £600 in and only needed £300 out, I went into the bank. They declined my request outright.

Fantastic.

My second overdraft is already at its limit (I can only save so much!) so even asking for an overdraft extension there was a lost cause, but I can at least say I tried.

Just to be rejected again.

The best thing I learned from this? That bank employees are more than willing to tell you to 'go to the bank of mum & dad' when the REAL banks are meant to be in charge of lending money!
I'm not a fan of borrowing from the parents. The only time I've borrowed from them was in my first year, and it was £20 which I repaid the following week. I feel guilty for asking them for money as they provided me with everything I needed during the first 16 years of my life, and I actually hoped that by moving away and being 21, I wouldn't have to rely on them.

It seems that desperate times call for desperate measures and I'm going to have to call 'the bank of mum' for a short term loan tomorrow. I have a feeling I know what the answer will be.

Wish me luck!!

Behind closed doors.

I spent the afternoon basking in the great British sun, and made some interesting observations.

Couples were walking hand-in-hand around the parks, enjoying each others company. It seems at a first glance that everyone is happily loved up, although if you delve a bit deeper you can see what the smiles are really hiding.

It made me recall a girl I once knew who had boyfriends continuously from the age of 15 and cheated on every one of them. Just because she could get away with it. When she started to get bored of one boyfriend she would sleep with others until one caught her interest & she would make it official the day she broke up with the actual boyfriend. Then she would find new 'projects' and so the cycle continued. All the while she would gaze lovingly into the eyes of her boyfriend (of the time), playing the 'butter wouldn't melt' act leaving the boyfriend completely oblivious to her philandering ways until she no longer had use for him.

Now when I see couples wandering in their own 'perfect' little bubble, I like to remind myself that behind the smiles, the relationship may not be a bed of roses for one or both of the couple. The woman may well be sleeping with his friend, The man may want out, She may be fed up with his laziness, He may be fed up with her bossy & controlling ways.

If every couple put on a brave face, who's to know who's sleeping with who? Sometimes its good to let your imagination run wild & know that the grin you're wearing isn't hiding anything.

You've gotta love a documentary!

I've always had a soft spot for documentaries.

Nature, human interest, science, historical, the list goes on. I'm a firm believer that education (be it institutionalised or self-taught) should never be taken for granted and the moment a person loses the will to learn, life loses its spark. Luckily education is widely and freely available in this country (although some doubt its effectiveness) and there is an abundance of TV channels which feature some amazing documentaries, so literally anyone can learn without being lectured.


I happen to be quite a fan of conspiracy theories & natural disasters, even a geek, you may say.

The last few days have treated me with a shedload of documentaries on my two favourite subjects, including the Bermuda triangle, and the 2004 Tsunami. I particularly find interest in natural disasters which affect people on a massive scale, and the documentary on Channel 4 showed the Tsunami from the points of view of various nationalities, social classes and family types.

Footage showing the deaths of an elderly couple and children being swept away by the current struck a chord with me, as the thought of a parent losing a child sounds horrific and I really welled up. The parents were describing the moment they were separated from their child & the ongoing battle to find the body, eventually bursting into tears on camera. In the 4 years since the tsunami struck, the couple had a second child and formed a charity to improve the lives of the children affected by the tsunami in Sri Lanka, the country they got to know so well in the search for their daughter.

The Bermuda Triangle is a subject which has always interested me, I like to explore the blurred line between fact & fiction and I like to ask questions: not everything is as it seems. A lot of theories were thrown up about time-space continuums and vortexes as well as the more common tectonic plate theories. My general opinions lie somewhere between the tectonic plates and the magnetic crusts causing ships and aeroplanes to lose use of their navigational equipment and communication. Despite my own theories, It gave a very balanced overview and offered a lot of alternative reasons as well as the ones most commonly believed, and all the theories were backed by evidence (some more reliable than others).

Documentaries provide me with an education I wouldn't receive in school on a range of topics, and rouse a wider interest to the point I often research the topics further.

I look forward to seeing what the networks pull out of their sleeves over the next few months.

A new chapter...

Today flicking through the music channels the Lady Gaga song bad romance came on.

I'm not usually a fan of the Gaga, as her name suggests, she is a bit too crazy for my liking. The only song that I have a soft spot for is the Bad Romance, and it always had a place in my heart. Well, enough time has passed, and events have eventually made me realised that no romance is better than a bad romance.

And why settle for anything less than the perfect romance?

a new month and a new start?

My new zest for life is turning me into a control freak.

I've spent the whole day in the blistering heat (trust me, this house is a sweatbox at the best of times) cleaning the house, scrubbing stains from my bedroom floor, getting rid of old clothes and generally working up a sweat trying to make this house near-habitable.

I also made a new-months resolution which is to write the proposal for my dissertation by August 20th and have the final copy (of the proposal) done by the time classes start at the end of September, as well as the magazine layout, issue plan & interviews done by then. So not too much... and find some advertisers & distributors too.

I like to jump in head first.

The third housemate arrived today (Yay!)and we finally got down to planning the holiday which we'd been talking about for months. We have a window of about 10 days in which we're all free in September, and we have two options: 1) book a holiday now for a date that is convenient for us all although we (mainly me) are low on funds until the end of the month, so to option 2) wait until as close to the date as possible in the hope that prices may have gone down, or we'll have gotten richer. Is it a risk worth taking?

We need to get out of this country. Sun, Sea, Sand and...Surf would be good. Cheap & cheerful around the med, drinks, water parks and beaches would be a bonus. under £150 each. Not too much to ask?

Storming through a jungle? A safari park? ...or a house of girls?

Today we decided to face mask ourselves ('we' being me & the housemate)which was all well and good as we both seem to have skin breakouts at more or less the same time, something to do with body clocks synchronising when you live closely with people so I've heard. Anyway, I digress.

I was upstairs about to rinse off the face mask when i heard a shrill 'ahhhhhh come down here!' half way down the stairs my housemates says it's a spider which i spotted in the corner of her doorway. Not one of those normal ones with legs and bodies in proportion, this one happened to be my worst nightmare.

A small body with long spindly legs which make it so much easier to sneak under door frames and into my mouth as i sleep, which terrifies me more than anything in the world. Give me a Tarantula over a spindly blighter any day, thanks. I managed to destroy it with my flip flop, but there is a blood smear on the ceiling which may well stain. oooops. my work is done!

Luckily the other housemate is back tomorrow & her boyfriend is moving her in,
so we may be asking him very nicely :)

keep dreaming...

The last few evenings I have been eating dinner later than usual (containing cheese, of course) and found that my dreams have become insane.

To the point that i dreamt of our round the world trip resulting in a job offer & relocation package to publish my lifestyle magazine in Hawaii (crazy, i know). It's always been a dream of mine, but actually seeing it -in my head- made me realise how hard i actually need to work to get there. I know that the chance of me getting a 5 bed villa on the beach with my own jetty, boat & scuba kit is a tad unrealistic but I'd like to look back on my life and know that I'd done my very best to get there, even if i end up in an apartment overlooking Blackpool pier.

A learning curve.

In preparation for my Round-the-world jaunt in 2012 i have taken to learning new languages.

The original plan involved getting a Ferry to France, buying a second-hand car for about £1,000- £1,500 and making my way to Singapore in it before flying out to Australia, then on to Brazil, and buying another car & travelling up to Canada, then flying back to London. I thought that planning 18 months in advance would give us plenty of time to plan & save, but technicalities, as always, get in the way.

Russia, a country I'd been hoping to visit since i first learned about the revolution aged 10, would add on an extra £1000 with visa fees and regulations which dictate you can't make your own way through the country without being invited by a political figure. As it happens I don't yet know Mr Putin well enough to ask him for a free pass so Russia is temporarily off the list.

When Russia was still in the equation I was keen to learn the language as we'd have been spending about 2 months in the country. I managed to get as far as YouTube lessons but realised if i was looking at a road sign i wouldn't have the faintest idea of what it said. I've postponed the Russian, and I'm now learning Spanish & Italian through audio books from my local library and weekly classes at University from September.

I don't aim to become fluent in two languages in a year, but a basic grasp of each would be a realistic target. If anyone knows of any BSL courses around the Southampton area, let me know!

11 years of anticipation

The last 11 years of my life have been building up to June 2010. I wasn't waiting for my wedding day, or the birth of a child (all of which I've been told are supposedly the best days of a woman's life) but the release of Toy Story 3.

At the ripe old age of 21 i should probably be 'too old' for the kids film franchise, but i was 6 when the first Toy Story was released & 10 for the sequel. I have fond memories of the adventures of Buzz, Woody & the gang and collected all of the merchandise which is probably still in the attic somewhere. My favourite characters are the somewhat overlooked Mr Potato Head and Rex with his boundless enthusiasm and innocent passion for life.

I went for a day out in Toys'R'us with my friend who is known for being quieter than myself. The Toy Story merchandise was fully stocked and I made a beeline for a giant Rex toy. As well as aisle upon aisle of Toy Story stock, reminders of my childhood such as Sylvanian families, Playmobile & Polly pocket lined the shelves sending me into a nostalgic frenzy, leaping from one shelf to another looking for new models of old favourites. I realised there is a huge difference between the toys of my childhood and the toys of 2010's children. About a quarter of the shop floor was dedicated to games consoles, plasma TVs and laptops which I couldn't imagine having in my childhood.

Being around the toys made me appreciate what I had, even though my toys were simple and probably cost a fraction of today's hi-tech gadgets, but when my little sisters would destroy my dolls it was easily fixed by some glue and some new clothes (for the doll) but now, when your child's most prized possession is a 40inch plasma TV, what do you do when it all goes wrong? throw money at the situation? replace it with a new one? Children should learn that throwing money at a problem won't make it go away, and there is more to life than what you see on a giant screen.

Children should be encouraged to interact with others, learn life skills such as socialisation and building relationships, which they won't learn from watching Hannah Montana in her Push-up bra & face full of make up. REAL kids don't have stylists, voice coaches and a secret life broadcast on their own TV show. REAL kids like playing in mud & climbing trees with the neighbours and barbies or transformers.

I know how I'd prefer to raise my kids.